Use Scratch on the scratch, then scratch the scratch until scratching the scratch scratches your scratch. Then, take the scratched scratch and scratch the scratch until properly scratched at 300 degrees.

Get a new bowl. Put 9001 pounds of flour in the bowl.

Mix the scratch and the flour, and place in the oven. If you find that the 9001.1 pound mixture is too heavy to carry, then start again. Otherwise, bake for 9001 years.

If Super Saiyans come to your door, tell them your cake is baking for OVER 9000 years.
If Super Saiyans do not come, throw everything away and start a small convenience store somewhere in Louisiana. If Louisiana is a inconvenient location, try New York City.

Put it the your pet cat's litter box. Forever.

Stop making a cake, and start making macaroons;
Get out a new bowl and get out the following ingredients:

3/4 cup sugar
2 cups shredded coconut, sweetened
3 egg whites
1 1/2 tablespoon of Vanilla extract
Optional: Chocolate and almonds.

Whisk egg white to a fluffy mixture. Add sugar and beat thoroughly. Add Coconut and vanilla extract.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, and line a pan with parchment cooking paper.
Take a tablespoon measurement, and scoop out a tablespoon worth of the mixture onto the pan for each macaroon. Makes 32 servings. (Or 30, I forget). If you want, you can put almonds onto the macaroons before putting them into the oven.

Allow to cool, then melt some chocolate in a bowl. Dip the macaroons into the chocolate and put in the freezer until chocolate cools. Eat them.

(This is an actual recipe. )

*cough cough*

Make sure you remember that you were making a cake, not cookies.

After eating it, throw ALL of it up in the toilet. Take a dump in the toilet, and retrieve the recipe from the toilet, and expose it to Justin Bieber until it starts singing.

Then throw into the face of a super popular celeb and run away

Come back 5 months later and find remains of the cake. Do a taste check.

Add one hobo.

and some rock, asphalt and sand

Then, add corny music.

After that, make sure you add some remixes from the following persons to counteract the corny music;
PokeremixStudio
LightUmbreon
LugiaDialga
QuizionStudio
GuitahHeroe (I hope I spelled his username right)

Then add some steel, iron and copper for a heathly cake with a nice metallic taste

Dump the cake in a landfill. If the fines in your area are over 500 dollars for illegal cake dumping, take it to the Town Hall/Capital building and place it in one of the many trash cans positioned around the structure.

Afterwards, instead of getting out a new bowl, get out a bundt pan and start mixing everything in there.

Leave said bowl outside for a maximum 7000 days. Retrieve the bowl when bugs have invaded it and used it as a swimming pool.

Next, get lots and lots Vaatiness.

Sell your concoction for $500. If someone buys it, grab it from them and smash their face into it, then take it back home. If not, use your own face.