Everyone hates you

My dog ate my homework

Your teacher expels you.

Minecraft crashes.

All the Minecraft nerds riot and kill a bunch of people

Someone hates you

Because of your sexual preferences. (THEY FAIL)

The Elite Four of Unova get eaten by Godzilla.

And Godzilla was eaten by a giant munchlax

God casts you out of Eden

You aren't with Eve.

You are a dog.

You are really Joey Wheeler from Yugioh: AbirdgedBonus points for understanding the reference

You are a side character in a hit TV show.

Your character gets killed after the first episode.


You are stranded on an island.

That island is Hawaii, and you have no money.

You pass the hardest class in your school.

Whatever you were trying to achieve through that is now pointless.

You lose both your eyes in a freak accident.

Your girlfriend breaks up with you right after.

You got a haircut.

You look like the opposite gender and get hit on

You just got an F for the semester

You get grounded from it.


You are Falcon Punched.

And have a massive concussion

You get into a car accident with your learner's

Your mom was in the car that crashed into you.


You are on fire.

You are permanently scarred

You're sexy but every girl/ boy HATES you

The only people that hit on you are the ugliest people you've seen.

You are given a pound of gold.

But you learned it weighs less than a pound of feathers and get 2 ounces taken off when you complain

Your were accepted to Harvard

The cheap knock-off Harvard Community College of Medical Health.

You earn an achievement.

For failure.

You turn into a Yamask.

Someone steals the mask.

Confagrigus really is a [insert derogatory term for a homosexual].

*word was banned from english language*

You ended up in my awkward convo of the day

They actually start talking about masturbation. "You see, it all starts when-" *shot*

Paper no longer exists.

Instead, everyone writes on electronic slates. Illegibly. EVERYONE WRITES ILLEGIBLY.

You have discovered the Fountain of Youth.

You drink too much and end up dying of reverse aging.

You get a cat you don't particularly want.

It hates you too.

Velociraptors have been found to be not extinct.

However, time has made them smaller than they originally were, so they cannot be rode on.

Stephen Colbert wins news comedian of the year.

He later commits suicide

You're in love with a stripper

But the feeling isn't mutual.

You successfully climb Mount Everest.

You lose every finger and toe you have.

You just found a dollar

It's been ripped in half.

You get a job.

It's as a human doormat

You end up in this awkward convo of the day

The entire congregation is surrounding you, eavesdropping on the conversation.

You found a 4-leaf clover.

It's really a three leaf clover with one leaf split in half

You need water but you're in the middle of the ocean

You drink the water anyway. Seizures soon after.

You get photographic evidence of space aliens, and it's good quality.

It turns out to be a deformed dog and you are placed in mental hospital

You're fired

You didn't have a job in the first place.

You accidentally get caught up with drug dealers.

You're arrested

^^^

You drop the soap in prison.

You are sad.

And commit suicide.

Smugleaf catches on once again.

Nothing.

You are stuck on a shrimping boat for 13 months

With nothing to eat but raw tuna.

You've invented time travel.

Society bugs you o freaking much to use and copy your invention.


You have a poptart.

It's really Nyan Cat.

You are a member of PETA (gasp).

You work at a cosmetic lab that tests on animals.

You love pie

Your best friend hates pie.

Pedobear is killed.

Sex offenders leave their house for the first time in a long time.

You get a bag of candy.

It's laced with cyanide

There's a random kid trying to bum change off you

He succeeds.

I type in bold characters.

They turn into comic sans

You grow an extra limb

It's on your back and it grows a hand and a mind of it's own.

Your head is melting.

It get back frozen, when it i half way melted.

You got new shoes.

They're too small to use.

You activate a bomb that's set to go off in 2 minutes.

The timer was upside down, you really have 20 seconds before it detonates.

You are stuck in a freezer.

You're in your bathing suit, so you get frostbitten reeeaaaaaaaaaally quick and soon die.

Thomas the Tank Engine gets possessed by the devil.

You're tied to the tracks.

You win a car.

It explodes on your first drive.

Earth is destroyed by a nuke.

It also destroyed Mars and Mercury. You are now wanted by the Intergalactic Police.

Someone is being a mope.

The e was a typo.

God arrives on Earth in corporeal form.

Nobody believes he is God and is thrown in a mental institute.

You gain the ability to control lightning.

Ya keel yo selv!

It is a sunny day.

Reshiram used Blue Flare!

Your internet sucks.

The RAM on your computer dies out. >_<

You got a gun.

Someone rigged it to misfire while you're cleaning it

You lost all emotion

You're a Mesprit.

You get your wallet stolen.

Your ring that you were going to purpose to your love with was in it.

You are fired from your new job.

It was high paying and now get can't afford your house. You move in with your parents

You are married

Your fiancee drives you insane.

You get hit by the ban hammer.

It continues to hit you, even when you're already banned.

The hills have eyes.

You step on them, and there's an earthquake.

Earth is against you personally.

Venus is rather attracted to you actually. O_o

Team Rocket steals all of your Pokemon.

Your Pokemon Blow up.

You kill your best friend.

You two were the only people left on the face of the Earth.

Humans were actually needed for the biosphere, and Earth slowly loses all life.

http does not exist.

Trolls take over the internet.

You take a boot to the head.

It factures your skull

You're injured the day before the BIG game

It turns out to be a coma, and you're out the rest of the season.

You become the most popular person on Youtube.

you get trolled all day
you eat breakfast

It exploded.

I has a cheezburger.

You're allergic to meat

I need help on math

You get science tutoring that helps you in no way possible.

You get a sweet messenger bag.

A bunny eats your bag

You buy your girlfriend a football jersey

She hates football jerseys, thinks your an insensitive idiot, and ends up breaking up with you.
I got a new microphone. let's see how easy this is to mess up

It was radioactive

You say number 6.on my list which means I hate your guts

Your guts get mercilessly hated, and nobody cares.

You get hit by a hurricane.

And a flying Ice Cream Truck.

You have a rabid Tasmanian Devil in your trousers.

You get a year supply of boot to the head flavored ice cream.

It's getting late.

Someone breaks into your house.

You find a blue quill on the ground.

It turns out to be historic and stolen. The FBI arrest you.

Your name is Norman.

Norman is a alias. Your real name is Maurice.

You find a microscopic pink hair.

It's actually a red hair from CopperCap, and he makes a video complaining about you.

You say that dragons suck.

One later eats you.

You create a popular Internet meme.

You get none of the recognition

You fail the chemistry final

Your solution exploded.

You design a toy.

It explodes and you're sued.

You're arrested for treason

In Russia.

You are a Spy.

But you're captured

You are in love with a hippo

The love isn't mutual.

You start to sit in a room with nothing inside it.

You're locked in and rot for the rest of your life.

FUS RO DAH!!!!!

You take an arrow to the knee, instantly killing you.
SOPA and PIPA pass.